feeling demotivated

I should be a prime candidate for learning Japanese. But in fact, my Japanese could best be described as absolute crap - and that would be a charitable description.

So why am I so unmotivated to study? I live in Japan. Actually, not only do I live here - I have a business here: a business that could really benefit from my not pretending not to hear when the phone rings. I even have a Japanese husband who would no doubt like to have a rest from constant internal translation. And a mother-in-law who can't speak English at all (query: does the real answer to my resistance to learning Japanese lie here?).


Anyway, despite the millions of reasons I should be studying, I'm not. But I'm not blogging this just to navel-gaze. In fact, I'm quite a typical case among ESL teachers in Tokyo. Occasionally we get together to snicker about the apalling English of our students (& partners... gomenasai, Junshi!) while simultaneously scratching our heads in bewilderment at the drinks list in a pub. I suspect we all know we really should hit the books, but... most of us just don't wanna.

I've been reading some stuff about motivation in language learning (Zoltan Dornyei is a language learning motivational god, but I can't find his '10 commandments' listed for free on the net except in this article by Kazuya Sawada... so thank you, Sawada-san. I've attached the article Sawada-san wrote here - www.kuir.jm.kansai-uac.jp/dspace/bitstream/10112/1286/1/KU-11006I-20040331-09.pdf).

However, my own experience keeps leading me back to thoughts on powerful de-motivating forces. Fear of the language being too big to ever conquer. Fear of the lessons being a boring time-suck. And money-suck. Fear of finding out that my hubby and I get along a whole lot worse in Japanese.

Anyway, I just wanted to send out some admiration for all the language students out there. Whatever motivating forces lead you to stick with learning, good on you. Good on you for not letting those forces be clouded out by the dark forces that crush the spirits (work ethics?) of us weaker (lazier?) folk! Seriously - as a teacher, I'm truly humbled by your persistence.

And truly hopeful that my crap attitude to study gives me the empathy to prepare lessons that motivate my students.